|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"
|
|
|
"Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife."
|
|
|
|
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
But after having met you, I've changed my mind."
|
|
|
|
"I must admit, you brought religion in my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you."
|
|
|
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
that you're not here to ruin it for me."
|
|
|
|
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go,
would you like to take this knife out of my back.
You'll probably be needing it again."
|
|
|
"How could two people as beautiful as you
have such an ugly baby?"
|
|
|
"Someday I hope to get married,
but not to you."
|
|
|
|
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
|
|
|
|
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?"
|
|
|
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for
your birthday...so we're having you put to sleep."
|
|
|
"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!"
(available only in certain parts of the South.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
