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Before you criticize someone,
you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.
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If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either;
just leave me the heck alone.
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It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
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Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is
simply to serve as a warning to others.
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It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
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If you tell the truth,
you don't have to remember anything.
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Some days you are the bug,
some days you are the windshield.
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Good judgment comes from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
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Generally speaking, you aren't learning much
when your mouth is moving.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
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